Hey, Hey, You, You, I Don't Like Your Boyfriend!

“Just cos there’s a goalkeeper doesn’t mean you can’t still score a goal”, this profound statement was made by a guy who likes girls who are involved already. Apparently the rules of staying away from a girl with a boyfriend do not exist. You would think that a guy would get over trying his luck with a girl that is seeing someone else already but in fact it is the other way around. Guys seem to like this “challenge” and will continue their pursuit of the girl. I would say that this is directed at girls who are involved in a long distance relationship, most guys see this as stupid and try and prove a point that it “won’t work” or that a girl shouldn’t be tied down in a long distance relationship in their first year at varsity. They want to be satisfied with the idea that they are better than the girl’s current boyfriend, again proving that long distance will not work. It is these kinds of guys who are providing the distractions that long distance couples are trying so hard to avoid.

I have a friend Nicola, who has been dating her boyfriend, Murray for almost nine months. He is currently studying at the University of Cape Town and naturally Nicola is here, studying at Rhodes. They are both very much in love and are doing whatever it takes to make it work as ones first year of long distance is ultimately the big test to whether the relationship will survive for the next few years away from each other. Long distance is hard to deal with but if both people involved are willing to take the chance and prove their commitment to one another then that is their decision and it should be encouraged not discriminated against.

Guys seem to think that in their first year at varsity they should be single and remain that way until the end of the year so their first year is not spoilt by “us girls who suck the fun, constricting their boyfriends to limited fun, giving them the freedom that is allowed by the short leash we impose on them”. I say this in inverted comma’s because that is what we are generalised as. Relationships are looked at as a constricted way of enjoying the opportunities and advantages offered by the first year at University.

Not everyone is fortunate enough to find someone who agrees to this kind of commitment especially if the one person or both are going to separate universities where temptations, new people, and alcohol come into play. Yes, University is an exciting place but why do you have to be single to enjoy it all fully? Nicola has been approached by many guys who “undermine her relationship with her boyfriend” and she went on to say that there were times where she questioned her relationship which usually isn’t thought of as a good thing. There are so many negative connotations and attitudes towards the term ‘long distance’ and one forgets that distance in fact strengthens and makes the couple appreciate each other and their relationship more.

It is obvious that girls and guys have different aims in their first year. We are here to make new friends and meet new and exciting people from all over the country and have lots of fun, experiencing the ideal student life away from home and doing our own thing. Although most guys have a similar outlook on their varsity experience, especially in their first year, there is that difference where they are also just wanting to score and hook up with as many girls as possible. They do not want to be involved and attached because they want the “full” varsity experience… This reminds us of notorious notch on the belt idea.

Therefore I strongly believe that guys should stay away from girls who have boyfriends. There is no need to cause unnecessary problems just for a bit of fun and the excitement that comes with the pursuit of such a “challenge”. Because at the end of the day who really wins?

Ashleigh